Long Absence

I have to apologize for my lack of consistency lately when it comes to publishing new blog posts. I began the new year with a vision of conquering my writer's block and writing about it on the way. I have been drafting fairly regularly as well up until 2 1/2 weeks ago. I apologize my writing is very choppy my mind is racing and jumping around through this time.

I work 3rd shift so I am sleeping when most people are up during the day. On January 24th I woke up that evening with a message that my father was admitted to the hospital from the ER. He was sent in from his provider for dangerously high blood pressure. I don’t remember exactly but it was 280 something/170 something. A few more tests (CAT Scan and Xray) and he was diagnosed with Heart Failure. Not a low-grade heart failure but severe heart failure. This was causing symptoms for some time that had gone unchecked creating more problems in the long run. The plan for that first weekend was to put him on a diuretic to get excess fluid off of his body and allow his heart to function better. As a family, we became better acquainted with all the signs of heart failure and recognized that my father had all the symptoms but not all manifested at the same time.

With 38 pounds of fluid loss and a better blood pressure, his treatment team had him set up for a cardiac catheterization. This allows the doctors to evaluate the coronary arteries, and if needed or able, place stents to open up the occlusion. His catheterization did not go that way. When we spoke to the doctors, we found out the extent of the damage. All 3 coronary arteries were <90% blocked. My dad needed open heart bypass surgery. At 57 years old, my father had no past medical history prior to this admission. He never had surgery either. Working in the hospital he was admitted too allowed me to stop in before and after each shift. I got a chance to sit, talk, and help relieve some of his anxiety.

His open heart surgery was scheduled for February 2. The night before I stopped in a hung out with him for 2 hours before my shift we talked, and laughed and talked about all the changes that he was making once he was discharged. On Friday the 2nd, I arrived in the surgery waiting room at 1:30pm, 10 minutes after he was taken to his OR. We were told that due to the severity of his blockages, he was getting 5 bypasses and the surgery would take quite some time, but someone would be out part way through to talk to us. 8:00pm was the first we heard any update, there has been a complication. The "C" word is the second worst "C" word you can hear in a hospital setting and this one hung out there while my mind raced. I had to stay calm and take it all in for my mom's sake. The surgeon said that after the operation, his heart would not pick up on its own no matter what they tried. It was overworked. He was placed on an ECMO device which is life support that allows your heart to rest until strong enough to proceed. My mom and I had some phone calls to make as we explain to the family that the surgery did not go as expected.

Working in the Radiology department in the very same hospital for the past 11 years has unfortunately placed me in a number of situations where I have seen my share of death and dying. One hour after speaking with the surgeon I am standing in the doorway to an ICU room looking at the familiar face of one who is crashing. A couple subtle clue from the nurse reinforce my thought that we should leave the room before things get worse. While things did get worse that night, his care team were able to get him stabilized.

As I write this my dad is in a hospital unit in Philadelphia. He was transferred yesterday as part of his care plan to wean him off ECMO and get his heart back in working order. Every day we are given new hope with news of his (very little) improvement; we celebrate each victory no matter how small. Don’t take the little moments with loved ones for granted. Tell someone what they mean to you.